Leadership means never having to say "No negotiating!"

This week, as the people of America and the world watch, Congress stumbles through the shutdown showdown.  Regardless of one's politics or perspectives on the content of specific solutions, it's a good time to reflect on the leadership lessons that a major conflict like this one presents:

1. Most conflicts end in negotiation, so if we want to save time and relationships, start negotiating at the front end. Conflicts in which either or both sides believe that their position is non-negotiable may end up achieving compliance with a forced solution, but research and history show us that compliance with a solution doesn't lead to agreements that last or that are enforced as agreed to.  In order for agreements to be kept as agreed, the parties must develop commitment, and effective negotiation, in which everyone finds a way to collaborate on important values, is more likely to lead to commitment to the solutions.
2. "Lines in the sand" don't resolve conflicts.  Before we pre-announce that there are lines that cannot be crossed, we'd better be ready to accept the consequences of impasse, because public statements of rigid positions rarely lead to quality conflict resolution--they lead to gridlock and impasse because everyone is backed into a corner and must save face by refusing to compromise.  And if impasse is going to be the likely result, we'd better have a strategy for successfully managing the absence of a resolution before we back anyone into a corner with "lines in the sand".
3. Win-win negotiations generate significantly better quantified results, and they work to enhance the relationship in the process.   A commitment to win-win negotiating has been shown to produce better results over the long term on an objectively quantified basis.  Traditionally, people may be reluctant to go the extra mile for win-win negotiations because they feel there is not an adequate basis of trust.  But pursuing win-win negotiations as a default strategy helps to build the trust that will produce better outcomes in the future, so it's a better approach overall.
4. Win-win negotiations require that each side identify their own and the other party's UNDERLYING NEEDS--not just positions.  A labor union's position may be increased wages, but its underlying need may be greater job security for members, so perhaps by agreeing to prevent lay-offs and extending the steps of salary growth, the organization can reduce the financial impact that higher wages would cause.  Creative solutions involve exchanging what's valuable to the other side but lower cost to you.
5. We will never resolve conflicts if we aren't willing to listen openly and constructively to understand the other side's perspective.  Listening is the most important leadership skill we have in our toolkit.

Here's hoping for cooler heads to prevail! 

 

Katy Simon

President, Simon and Associates Consulting

ksimon@simonandassociates.us

775.232.7077

Follow me on twitter @katysimoncm